Pervy Healer LN – Volume 1 Side Story

Translator(s): Yomigaeru    Editor(s): Yuzuha    Proofreader(s): Yomigaeru

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Side Story: The First Errand


「I want you to make dinner today.」

It’s been a week since I came to this world and started working at Eris’ hospital.

Out of nowhere, Eris brings that up.

Eris is great at cooking. It’s on the level where if hers was mixed in with the food from a restaurant, you couldn’t tell the difference.

And for this whole week, Eris has always done the cooking.

Despite that, now she wants me to make the food all of a sudden. What the heck is up with that?

「Me, cook?」

「Yes, I have always been making it, but look, the magic tool we have here isn’t the type that uses magic stones as fuel. The more common type operates by the user pouring in their own mana, you know? And there were quite a few customers today, so I don’t have enough mana to spare.」

I see, so that’s how it is?

In this house’s kitchen, magic tools are used to provide the heat. This one’s like a gas burner that runs on mana.

To use it, the user needs to constantly pour in their mana to keep the flame going.

Since I seem to have more mana than others it’s no big deal for me, but apparently it becomes a burden for Eris. Why is she using something like that, you ask? Because buying magic stone fuel is supposedly wasteful.

And yet, maybe this is a chance for me.

I definitely can’t beat Eris when it comes to cooking skill, but I have an advantage in the form of my knowledge of Japanese cuisine. If this goes well and I get a tight grip on Eris’ stomach, there may even be a development such as “I can’t live without your cooking anymore, marry me!”.

「I see, I see, in that case there’s no helping it. Well then, just leave it to me!」


Eris gives me a bank card containing the budget for dinner, then I head out into the streets in high spirits to buy ingredients.

She told me I didn’t have to do the shopping too, but in order to make Eris’ taste buds sing, I’ll have to carefully select the finest ingredients.

And yet this is the first time I’m buying ingredients since I came to this world. I wonder just what kind of ingredients there are? It’d be great if there’s soy sauce or miso.

I ponder such things while I walk down the road Eris told me to use, and eventually I arrive at the market.

Powerful voices are flying about, and there are tons of people. Seems like it’s thriving.

Keeping in mind that I want to buy meat or fish first for the main dish, I head towards a place where there appear to be many such carts.

「Welcome, welcome! Shopping for dinner, Onii-san? Ours is fresh and cheap, how about a piece!」

A voice immediately calls out to me. When I turn in its direction, there are numerous hunks of some unknown meat set out on a cart. Looks like it’s a butcher.

「Ooh, whatcha selling?」

「It’s Orc.」

…Did I mishear that?

「Did you just say Orc?」

「Yeah, it’s Orc, Orc meat! Those green-skinned, pig-faced guys. Their thick, fatty meat is delicious! C’mon, why don’t you buy a piece!」

「I-I’ll pass…」

I lose my enthusiasm all at once. The heck is Orc meat. Is it similar to pork?

I’ve come to understand the common sense of this world little by little through my conversations with Eris over this past week.

Orcs are a type of monster. It’s that Orc, the one that appears in fantasy-type games. Can you even eat them? I can’t believe it.

I try looking out over my surroundings once again, and there are lots of ingredients I don’t recognize. It’s not like they’re all ingredients I haven’t seen before, but about half of them are new to me.

The culinary culture of this world seems quite different from Japan’s. Now that I think about it, the taste of soy sauce or miso didn’t come out in a single one of Eris’ dishes.

…Perhaps making Japanese cuisine is going to be difficult.


「Hey, you cool Onii-san over there! How about some eggs? Large or small, we got ‘em all!」

I look around the market a little after that, when a voice calls out to me again.

I turn around to find not eggs, but peaches. That’s right, peaches. Wrapped in cloth, gently packed, perfectly ripe peaches.

The woman who called out to me has wide-open cleavage, and on top of that she’s pressing in with her arms as if to emphasize it.

Can’t we just get takeout?

…No no, this isn’t the time to get distracted by such things.

Shopping, I came here to shop. I should leave.

This egg-seller Onee-san’s smile reeks of suspicion. If I try to haggle with this sort of woman, I will undoubtedly lose. I couldn’t even win against the redheaded adventurer who came to the hospital yesterday.

I can predict how things are going to develop from here on out. No doubt about it, I’ll be ripped off.

I should leave immediately.

「W-Wait a second, Onii-san! These eggs, they’re just a little high-priced, but that’s because they’re really yummy! L-Look! If you buy a dozen right now, I’ll throw in a special favor!」

When I try to leave, she calls out to me from the side. Man, it’s no good, I mustn’t listen.

「Onii-san! Wait, please wait. Please don’t walk away. Look, I’ll do something wonderful.」

S-Something wonderful!?

…N-No, no, no good, it’s no good.

My bank card currently holds the precious dinner funds entrusted to me by Eris. I can’t afford to frivol them away.

But, but… maybe just looking would be okay. It’s not like I have to use the money she entrusted me with, so long as I’m only looking…

When I glance over, the Onee-san grins.

And, in the valley between her breasts, sunken deep, deep into her soft flesh, there’s an egg wedged in there. W-What a violent spectacle.

Once my eyes are pointed at that egg, as if to make doubly sure, she implores me with upturned eyes.

「Won’t you harvest my eggs?」


I ended up buying them. I ended up harvesting them. Almost all of the money in my possession has been converted to eggs. Two heaping omelettes are lined up on the table at Eris’ hospital, and she’s gazing at them with a delicate expression.

「Hey, why is it just omelettes?」

「I-I’m sorry.」

There’s no way I can answer that. If I tell her I got hustled into buying expensive eggs by some Onee-san’s seduction, I’ll unmistakably be scorned.

Even if I don’t get fired, she’ll be resistant to living together.

As I’m hemming and hawing while I agonize over it, Eris seems to come to a conclusion on her own.

「I see… there’s an orphanage close to that market, isn’t there. In any case, the children were trying their best to sell eggs, so you ended up buying them against your better judgment, am I right?」

That’s wrong. I don’t know how it would have gone if that situation did come up, but emotions aside, what got me carried away this time was my sexual desire.

However, I can’t explain the details to Eris, so I can’t deny what she said either.

As I’m prevaricating with an ambiguous expression like that, Eris starts to reach for her omelette as if the conversation is over.

「You aren’t going to eat?」

「Ah, no, I’ll eat.」

The two of us attempt to level our omelette mountains. I feel a little guilty, but this is quiet time.

I mull it over as I eat my omelette, which certainly can’t be called delicious.

In one way or another, this hospital feels comfortable. It’s probably thanks to Eris’ personality.

I’m a weak-willed, useless guy, though.

But one day I’ll return the favor to Eris.

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