Pervy Healer LN – Volume 2 Side Story

Translator(s): Yomigaeru    Editor(s): Yuzuha    Proofreader(s): Yomigaeru

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Side Story: Everyday Life in the Labyrinth City

It’s a few days after I purchased Eris’ hospital.
Eris prepares breakfast in a chipper mood and casually starts a conversation.
「I’m thinking of tidying up today.」
「Tidying up?」
Tidying up. Cleaning. Throwing out the trash.
I suddenly recall the other day when I placed a corpse of one of those spiders that Eris hates in the bathroom.
Throwing out the trash in this hospital. In other words, throwing out the trash that is me, is that what she means?
「Look, isn’t this house quite spacious? Before you repurchased this house, it hadn’t been cleaned for a week. It’s getting a little dusty.」
Nope, looks like what Eris wants to do is literally sweeping.
Since she’s expressly informing me, maybe she’s even planning to do a spring cleaning for the hospital.
I mean, it is two floors tall, and fairly large.
It’s probably gonna take a full day of work.
「Under these circumstances, I think we ought to do a thorough cleaning – behind the furniture, under the floorboards and so on. That’s why I would appreciate your help as well.」
「I-I will help too!」
「Even under the floorboards?」
Looks like she’s really going all-out.
Yuel seems pleased at the thought of being useful; she expresses her enthusiasm too.
But man, I’m a little concerned.
I wonder why it’s happening with this timing?
A few days have already passed since I bought back the hospital.
With Eris’ personality, if she thought the hospital had become dirty, she would have started cleaning it immediately.
And it’s not like we’ve been especially busy lately, on the contrary, no customers are coming and there’s been plenty of downtime.
Enough so that Yuel and I went on a stroll in the labyrinth to kill time.
I don’t mind helping with the cleaning, though, since I live here too.
「Not that it matters, but what made you decide to undertake such a major cleaning anyway?」
Since it was bothering me for some reason, I try asking.
When I do, Eris’ body abruptly shivers. This atmosphere, it’s almost as if she recalled something unpleasant.
「Y-You won’t laugh?」
She timidly inquires, trying to spy out my expression.
It’s unusual seeing Eris like this. Whaaat, don’t tell me it’s something she’s embarrassed about?
「Y-Yeah.」
Then, making a slightly disgusted face, Eris begins to speak.
「Well, you see, in the bath… there was a huge spider.」
It was my fault.
Once we finish breakfast, we get right down to cleaning.
Looks like Eris plans to have us exterminate all the spiders in this hospital.
She must really hate spiders. I might have done a bit of a bad thing to Eris. I’m not really reflecting on it, though.
Well, setting that aside, we’re starting from the second floor bedrooms.
For starters, after changing into clothes that I don’t mind getting dirty, I cooperate with Eris to carry the beds and chests of drawers out of the room. Once most of the things in the room are carried out, Yuel brings in a dust cloth and a bucket full of water.
「Thank you, Yuel-chan.」
Eris takes the dust cloth from Yuel and soaks it in the water bucket.
…But, I suddenly realize.
「Eris, are you fine with wearing that habit? Wouldn’t it be better to wear something you don’t mind getting dirty?」
Eris’ outfit is her usual monastic habit.
Does she really intend to do the cleaning in that?
It seems like she sweeps under the beds periodically; it’s already clean there to a certain degree, but the amount of dust that was under the chest of drawers is awful.
If she tries to clean places like that in her usual clothes, they’ll get dirty right away.
When I point that out, Eris pulls a little on the cloth around her chest as if it’s bothering her as she replies.
「Ahh, it’s fine if these get dirty. These are clothes I used to wear when I was around fourteen years old, so they’re getting a little small.」
…To still have clothes from four years ago, you sure take good care of your things, Eris-san.
Although I think there are issues with forcing yourself to wear clothes that are too small.
The instant I think that, Eris stoops over to wring the dust cloth.
Eris’ voluptuous breasts and ass that are sexy even under normal circumstances get even further emphasized to a ridiculous degree.
Eris herself doesn’t show the slightest sign of it bothering her, though.
I don’t know if she’s frugal or just stingy, but either way I think she should be a little bit more mindful of the gazes of the men around her.
Wait, thinking of it the other way around, if she isn’t conscious of it then maybe I can look as much as I want. Okay, it’s fine for her not to be mindful.
「C-Clothes from when you were… fourteen…」
Since we’re in front of Yuel right now, I can’t keep looking directly at Eris’ tits and ass too much, but I don’t mind one bit if Eris becomes more careless about herself.
I will only profit.
「…Just, two years… in two years, to that size…」
…I won’t pay any mind to Yuel muttering something while she looks at her own chest.
8mRK50V
Yuel is only twelve, but still, she’s already twelve.
For girls whose breasts are especially large, it wouldn’t be weird for a portion of that to have developed already by her age.
However, Yuel is almost flat.
Even in two years, she probably won’t have the kind of giant tits to fill out those clothes.
There’s nothing to work with that could possibly comfort Yuel.
In the overwhelming presence of Eris’ formidable funbags, as you’d expect, it’ll be difficult for me to provide convincing support.
I’ll pretend I didn’t hear her.
「C-C’mon, aren’t we gonna clean! Since we’re doing this, let’s start from the ceiling down!」
「T-That’s right. This is a rare opportunity, so why don’t we clean the ceilings as well? Err, in that case I will need something to stand on.」
「…I will go get it.」
Muttering weakly, Yuel trudges off to fetch a stool.
…I’m kinda starting to feel like it would be more merciful to have her give up on the whole big boobs thing already.
「Alright, would you mind holding the stool for me? I’ll sweep as much of the ceiling as I can reach, then let’s move it to clean the next spot.」
「Sure.」
Following Eris’ instructions, I hold the step stool.
I hold the stool in place, then Eris climbs up on it and sweeps the area of the ceiling she can reach with a duster. Then we move, and repeat the same process.
It’s simple work, but for the sake of spending our days amicably, it’s necessary work.
Nevertheless, this is about what I expected for a building managed by Eris.
All of the places that are visible are mostly free of dust.
As I’m thinking about that while I hold the stool and look up at the ceiling, a certain something abruptly enters my field of vision.
Above my head.
Up there, Eris’ overwhelming underboob is jiggling back and forth.
I can’t look. Yuel is next to me right now.
She’s wiping the room’s windows, but she’s also paying attention to me, glancing over.
In front of Yuel, I mustn’t do something like stare at this stunning underboob on Eris.
But man, it’s sticking out like a fringe.
Every time Eris stretches out her body to dust the ceiling, her chest squashes against her taut shirt, stretching it out.
Then when she relaxes her body, they shake as they return to their original shape.
What an outrageous spectacle. A bonus for me.
No, wait. I can’t look.
Just like I’m watching Eris, Yuel is watching me right now.
I’ll be gauged on whether I choose her respect or Eris’ erotic curves.
Right, I’m being tested.
…I can’t win against underboob.
I’m desperately trying to calm my heart by picturing Geyser’s face, but my gaze keeps getting drawn there no matter what.
I’m not staring for a long time, though, so I don’t think Yuel will find out. I hope she doesn’t. Even if she does, I could likely mislead her about it.
In that rhythm, we finish sweeping the second floor including the bedrooms, and head to the kitchen to clean that next.
Eris really seems to be in high spirits; once we get to the kitchen she puts aside the magic tools for cooking and the pots and pans, and starts to wipe inside the cabinets.
I bet she’s trying to scrub every nook and cranny of the storage spaces where spiders are likely to hide.
Eris is crawling on all fours, reaching into the cabinets with the upper half of her body.
However, since she’s wiping with a dust cloth in that state, all that ends up being visible to me is her ass shaking.
Yet another outrageous spectacle. A side benefit.
But still, I mustn’t look.
Yuel is right next to me. Somehow, she seems to have a lot of free time on her hands.
Does she have nothing better to do? She’s completely transfixed on me. As you’d expect, continuing to look at Eris in this situation would be unsavory. I muster my rationality.
「Shiki, could you go change the water in the bucket?」
The ass speaks.
No wait, that was Eris calling out to me with her upper body still enclosed in the storage space.
I can’t. This is impossible.
My mind has already been conquered by earthly desires.
Even though she’s just cleaning, due to the size difference in Eris’ clothes, this feels like some sort of 24-hour Don’t Watch Eris Cleaning endurance challenge.
At this rate, my image will…
Yuel’s image of me as her honest and pure master is gonna be completely destroyed.
And yet, what should I do?
I’m inevitably going to look. Her panty lines are even showing through.
While go I replace the bucket water, my gaze irresistibly gets drawn to Eris.
「Ah, Master!」
And as I’m carrying the bucket, I suddenly hear Yuel’s voice.
I come to my senses and take a look, and there’s a dust cloth on the ground where I’m stepping.
But even though she quickly alerts me, my body weight has already shifted onto my leg and I can’t stop it.
「W-Whoaaaaah!!」
My foot slips on the soggy dust cloth, and I topple over.
I’ve lost my balance, and my body is rapidly approaching the ground.
Even so, I learned judo back in my high school days. In class, anyway.
At once, I stick out both hands towards the floor in order to perform a roll, avoiding harm via a magnificent body movement.
「S-Safe!」
I screwed up by slipping on the dust cloth, but a little thing like that won’t beat me.
I have no injuries anywhere; not on my slipped foot, nor my back that I almost slammed onto, nor my hand that was holding the bucket.
Huh, now that I think about it, where the heck did that bucket–
「…How exactly is it safe.」
I hear Eris’ voice, tinged with anger, coming from right next to me.
When I glance over, there’s Eris-san, dripping with water. And an empty bucket tipped over on a flooded floor.
Eris’ taut monastic habit clings even closer to her body and turns even further transparent, becoming unbelievably scandalous.
Eris must be embarrassed about it; she’s covering her body with her hands as she glares at me uncomfortably.
After glancing at the bucket, the floor, and finally herself, she speaks in a weary tone.
「Ahh, I’m completely soaked.
……Well, no matter. The rest isn’t labor-intensive, so I can handle it by myself. You go spend a little time outside before you come back.」
Tossed out by Eris, I walk through the city along with Yuel.
Man, even if she tells me to kill some time, what am I gonna do?
It’s not noon yet, and I don’t feel like going into the labyrinth either.
Yuel seems happy enough just strolling around idly. Honestly, I bet she’d be fine no matter where we go.
Tavern it is, then. Although it’s still early.
I can drink alcohol, plus there’s food.
As I’m walking the streets with such things on my mind, I suddenly spot a crowd of people on the road.
「Congratulations on your marriage!」
「Best wishes!」
I can hear blessings coming from that direction.
I take a look when they get close, and walking in the center of it are a woman wearing a wedding dress and a man in a tuxedo-like suit.
「Master, what is that…?」
「Ah, it’s the first time you’re seeing one, huh Yuel? You see, in this labyrinth city, there’s a custom where after they conduct a wedding ceremony, they march around the streets to get blessings from everyone.」
I’ve seen it once before, myself.
They gather their acquaintances and strut along the streets, it’s a parade-like thing.
「A marriage, is it?」
Yuel mutters a few words, staring at the bride in her wedding dress.
With a face full of utter happiness, the bride is linking arms with the groom, waving her hand at the pedestrians.
Yuel gazes vacantly at that.
Then she hangs her head slightly and speaks to me.
「Master, what exactly is a marriage?」
How should I know, I’ve never gotten married either. Besides, I want to create a harem if at all possible.
Ever since I bought Yuel I’ve been feeling like it will be difficult, but even so, it’s not like I’ve given up.
Although simply not giving up doesn’t mean that I know what I’m doing, either.
And yet I can’t tell Yuel that, so I’ll cover up with something suitable.
「A marriage is a thing where, umm, people who love each other promise to stay together forever. But what form that truly takes differs between each one, I suppose.」
「I-I love Master!」
「W-Well, there’s no need to be in such a hurry. You’ll probably understand in a few years.」
Dodging Yuel’s question, I head to the tavern.
I have a bad feeling that delving too deeply into this topic will be treading on a land mine.
Taking one last glance at the newlywed couple as I hastily enter the tavern, I take a seat to place my order.
Once I sit down, the chair next to me is suddenly pulled out.
「Yoo-hoo, Shiki. Is it noon already?」
It’s Ruruka.
Apparently she was here in the tavern.
Well, it’s a little early, but it’ll be lunchtime soon enough. Since she expressly took the seat next to mine, she’s no doubt looking to sponge a meal off me. But man, Ruruka’s by herself again, huh?
「What happened to your two party members?」
「Ahh, those two… they sometimes act separately. They just have their own circumstances. We’re usually together, though.」
So they have some sort of circumstances. Is that why she’s free to hang around in the tavern?
Well, I’ll ignore Ruruka’s presence for now and give the waitress my order.
Once I do, Yuel abruptly starts a conversation.
「Umm, Ruruka-san, what do you think of marriage?」
「…Eh? M-Marriage? W-What’s with that all of a sudden?」
「Err, umm…」
Ruruka is taken aback by Yuel’s outlandish question.
Seems like Ruruka too is wondering why she’s asking such a question all of a sudden.
「D-Don’t tell me that Shiki’s getting married!? W-With who!? It can’t be with Yuel-chan, can it!?」
「N-No, no, we simply noticed some people who had just gotten married on our way over here. That’s gotten on her mind, probably.」
「A-Ahh, so that’s what it was. I-I don’t have any plans like that at this point, though.
…B-But adventuring isn’t a job you can do forever, so I don’t think I would mind if it was someone who seemed like he could hold down a steady job?」
Ruruka’s answer is, how should I say? Normal.
I thought she’d say she wants to latch onto a sugar daddy, or marry into nobility or something, but unexpectedly it feels like she’s thinking typically about her future.
「A-As for me, marriage and stuff is, look, I think slower is better. If you rush into a decision this quickly, you might regret it. Okay? You think so too, right, Shiki?」
When Yuel hears what Ruruka has to say, she grumbles skeptically.
I wonder what’s gotten into her?
…By some chance, my “marriage is where you stay together with someone you love” explanation might have made her think about her own present situation.
I do feel fond of Yuel, but in terms of age she can’t possibly become a romantic target for me, of course. If she did, that would be disgusting. So much so that I don’t want to think too deeply about it.
Did Yuel find the answer within herself? With a single large nod, she tosses the next question at Ruruka.
「…Also, how do I make my boobs bigger?」
「B-Boobs? Err, that’s, well… you just gotta eat well and get plenty of exercise. A-Also, milk!」
Another shocker out of nowhere, I wonder where that came from.
…Did she notice me furtively glancing at Eris’ chest during the cleaning after all?
It’s a misunderstanding.
I wish to inform Yuel that it’s a misunderstanding.
She didn’t actually misunderstand anything, but it’s a misunderstanding.

We finish our meal, and once Yuel downs her 5th glass of milk, we leave the tavern.
I thought about hanging around the tavern for a while, but as soon as Yuel heard what Ruruka had to say, she’s been drinking milk ever since.
And boy has she been going at it with gusto.
At the rate she was drinking it, Yuel might have had enough to vomit.
I briefly wondered what was pushing her to go that far, but I bet it was Eris’ huge tits.
Having those puppies flaunted in front of her every day, it’s inevitable that she would develop a complex.
Well, even if Yuel did have such huge boobs today, I think the imbalance would just make it seem gross.
Although we may have left the tavern, Eris probably hasn’t finished cleaning.
Well, there shouldn’t be any problem with returning to the hospital now if I behave myself, but when I’m watching Eris’ figure as she enthusiastically cleans, I have no confidence that I’ll be able to behave.
Guess we should take a meandering stroll to help with digestion and kill some time.
As we’re doing exactly that, I notice Yuel staring at something.
She’s gazing at something with sparkling eyes of anticipation.
I look in that direction, and there’s a large building with a dragon and sword billboard on it.
「A theater?」
I take a closer look at the sign, and it seems they’re putting on a popular action-adventure play of the fight between the legendary hero and the evil god.
There are any number of theaters like this one within the city.
They’re places where the actors use props, music, and magic to put on an engaging play.
Having said that, other than the fact that there’s magic, they’re not really any different from the theaters in Japan.
You pay a reasonable price for admission and watch a play; it’s treated as a standard date spot.
Well, the theaters I know of are the ones Geyser told me about which are more like strip clubs, though.
I wanna go sometime.
「You wanna go in?」
When I try asking Yuel, she nods gladly.
Looks like she genuinely wanted to watch a play.
I pay the fee and head inside, and it looks like the play is just about to begin; a smattering of guests are already seated.
As we’re walking to find a suitable location to sit… suddenly, I spot some familiar faces.
A duo of a tall bespectacled man and a short ruffian-type guy…
They’re very familiar indeed.
It’s kinda sad seeing two men lined up together at a theater.
I wonder why they’re in a place like this.
As I’m looking at them strangely, I suddenly meet eyes with the ruffian guy.
「Oh, if it ain’t Shiki!」
「Eh, Shiki? Whaaat, so Shiki came too? Whatta coincidence.」
Yep, it’s Eight and Geyser.
Even though all of the nearby groups of customers are couples, this spot alone is excessively miserable.
It’s mostly Geyser’s fault, though.
「…Why are two men here by themselves in a place like this.」
「D-Don’t say that to us.」
「Ain’t our fault. One of our buddies told us his seats were too empty and we should come.」
In other words, they’re shills? Looks like theaters have it tough too.
Well, the more I look around this theater, the more I get the feeling that it’s not making much money. It’s probably a new theater that hasn’t been around for long.
「Umm, Eight-san and Geyser-san, what do you think of marriage?」
While I’m reflecting on that, Yuel asks that question again.
…She’s so pure.
And given her purity, she doesn’t assume that two guys who’d come to the theater together couldn’t possibly have girlfriends or spouses.
Since Eight and Geyser give me a glance that asks what brought that on so suddenly, I explain the events that led up to this.
After I do, the two exchange glances…
「…We don’t」
「…got nobody to marry.」
and mumble that in the tiniest of voices.
Somehow, Eight and Geyser’s backs seem one size smaller now.

The play was about the typical righteous fare.
The summoned hero assembled a party and struck down the evil god who had been resurrected from the depths of the earth. Simply put, that’s all it was.
Frankly, the acting was stiff; I can understand why the audience was so sparse. And Geyser even fell asleep.
Well, Yuel seems satisfied, so I guess it’s fine. Although I’m a little worried about how she was talking to Eight and Geyser about something just before we left the theater. Still, we managed to kill a lot of time.
Eris is probably finished with the cleaning by now.
Let’s return to the hospital soon.

When we get back to the hospital, Eris has finished cleaning and is preparing to make dinner.
I could probably search the house and not find a single spider corpse anywhere now.
That’s how much the hospital has been polished up.
Yuel rushes over to Eris and asks that question.
「Eris-san, what do you think of marriage?」
For a moment, Eris makes an expression like there’s a question mark floating above her head, but once I clarify, she instantly tilts her head contemplatively.
「Marriage, hmm.」
Eris becomes a little uneasy, and glances at me.
What’s with that look? Does she see me as a romantic target?
Well, we’re living under a single roof, so perhaps it’s like we’re already married.
I bet it’s just a matter of time before she falls for my coolness.
The established facts are steadily piling up. Sooner or later the day may come when Eris allows me into her bed. Maybe she’ll even laugh it off if I feel up her tits a bit. My blinding delusions are expanding.
And, as I’m imagining such things–
「……Hahhh」
Watching my face, Eris makes a deep sigh.
Whoa, she seems displeased.
I guess it was my misunderstanding. But then I wonder what that look I saw earlier was?
I want to believe that it’s nothing like she can’t get married since I’m living here.
No, I’ve never seen Eris hanging around with men, so at least in that respect it definitely shouldn’t be the case.
However, as if only to say that she doesn’t want to speak of it any further, Eris just lightly pats Yuel’s head.
「A-Also… how can I make my boobs big like yours, Eris-san?」
Again, she asks the same question she put to Ruruka. Although she seems more passionate about it this time than she did with Ruruka.
「Yuel-chan, it’s alright, you have plenty of time to grow.」
And yet the persuasive power of Eris’ words, when she was wearing clothes that size at age 14, is pretty much nil.

Then, that night.
As Yuel’s getting into bed with me, she murmurs in a whisper.
「Master, it seems that boobs get bigger when men rub them.」
…I see something move.
Sleeping in the next bed over, Eris’ shoulders twitch. No doubt about it, she’s listening in.
「That kind of thing is unfounded nonsense. Who the heck told you that?」
As far as I can remember, neither Ruruka nor Eris said anything like that.
Supposing it was Geyser?
That guy is always inspiring me to do truly unscrupulous things.
「My senpai waitress-san told me she was having her boyfriend rub them.」
That’s who it was? I wonder just which waitress-san it was?
I don’t really want to ask.
But I want to know who said it.
Some rather complex feelings are bubbling up.
Hold on, it seems I accused Geyser of false charges. I’ll apologize to him within my heart.
「Also, Geyser-san said the same thing at the theater.」
「Yuel, that was a lie. Don’t believe him.」
I want my good faith back for apologizing to him internally.
Geyser is Geyser, after all. He wouldn’t do anything decent.
「Master, I have been thinking about marriage all day today.」
I know that.
If she goes that far to ask about marriage over and over, there’s no way I wouldn’t know.
「But, I, I don’t understand marriage very well. Since I can stay with Master forever even if we aren’t married.」
There are differences between a master-and-slave employment relationship and a marriage, though.
Well, that could mean she doesn’t feel anything special over the fact that we’re together now.
It’s natural for us to be together, you could look at it that way.
And she’s still a slave, so maybe she’s poorly informed about such things.
Man, I’m glad Yuel didn’t tell me she wanted to get married or anything.
If something like that happened, it seems like either answer would turn out unpleasant for me.
「I am totally content with things the way they are. So, if Master will allow it, I want to come along with Master wherever you go.」
Well, even if I do get married to someone, I wouldn’t throw Yuel away.
Besides, since my objective is a harem, rather than getting married to that special someone, I want to be surrounded by girls.
「Forever… wherever…」
Yuel closes her eyes and grabs my clothes.
While making a sort of anxious-looking expression.
…Yuel’s unnatural attitude today.
By some chance, maybe she’s afraid that when I get married to someone, our relationship will change.
I wonder if I should say something to give Yuel some peace of mind as well?
As I’m mulling over what I should tell Yuel, suddenly, I spot something move slightly over Yuel’s shoulder.
When I glance over, I meet eyes with Eris looking back at me.
Perhaps not expecting that our eyes would meet, Eris immediately turns her head away.
It’s dark so I can’t see her expression clearly, but it looks like she completely overheard our conversation.
What do I do?
I need to say something suitable to clear up Yuel’s feelings while not harming Eris’ impression of me. Moreover, Yuel’s expression was serious.
It’s not like I can joke around too much.
But man, what should I say at a time like this…
As I’m contemplating it, before I notice, Yuel is drawing a sleeping breath.
I don’t know what Yuel was actually thinking about today, or what she felt when she saw that married bride.
But there was a certain amount of weight to Yuel’s “I want to be together forever” declaration.
So long as I don’t reject her, come hell or high water, she’ll follow me no matter what happens. That’s the impression I felt from that line.
Well, I have no plans to go through hell and high water, though.
As I observe Yuel’s gentle sleeping face, I softly pet her head so as not to wake her.

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