Pervy Healer – Chapter 1

Translator(s): Yomigaeru    Editor(s): Yuzuha    Proofreader(s): Yomigaeru

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Becoming Jobless.

Labyrinth City Merhatz.
At the edge of this city that spreads out from the labyrinth that lies at its center, I’m working hard as usual at Eris’ hospital.
「Uwah, you didn’t treat this wound properly, did you? It’s starting to fester. You’ll need Dis-Poison for this too. Along with the Heal, that comes to 400 Zeni.」
Before my eyes is a girl with vivid red hair, long enough to reach her shoulders. She has a rough style, with moderately-toned limbs, a simple buttoned shirt, and shorts. There’s a boyish air to her.
On that girl’s left arm there’s a wound from being caught on something sharp. However, contrary to the painful-looking scar, the girl’s reply is cheerful, and she shows no sign of being especially bothered by the wound. Yes, for this girl, wounds like that are an everyday occurrence. Because this girl is an “adventurer”.
When I cast “healing magic” on the girl’s arm, a faint light gathers on the affected part, and the wound mends.
「Ehh, 400 huhhh. Shiki, can’t you lower that just a liiiittle more? My equipment broke too on that last exploration, so I’m low on moneyyy.」
「That’s impossible. If I lower the treatment fee on my own, Eris is gonna fire me for sure this time. I’m in a tough spot as a hired healer.」
I, Satou Shiki, was originally a college student from modern-day Japan. Then one day, all of a sudden, I came to this world. I was stabbed with a kitchen knife by a slasher, and the moment I thought I had died, somehow I was here in this labyrinth city.
Originally, I had earned a modest sum of money in Japan as a counterfeit antiques dealer, and a much greater sum of money by building up a psychic healing group as a new religion. And I don’t know whether it’s related to that or not, but I acquired Appraisal and Healing Magic skills upon my arrival in this world. And then, in order to make a living in this other world, after various twists and turns I began to work at Eris’ hospital. It’s been three months or so since then.
「Ehhhh, it’s fiiine, she won’t find out. C’mon, just the Dis-Poison amount! I’m begging youuu.」
Squish.

The redheaded girl squeezes her freshly-healed arms together. You wouldn’t guess it from her boyish demeanor, but she’s pushing up some large tits.

This is dangerous. In many ways.

Without her labyrinth exploration gear, the only thing covering the girl’s breasts is that single shirt. Of course she’s wearing underwear, but the underclothes in this world don’t have anything so unromantic as fixed support wires. Unimpeded by the thin garment, her abundant twin peaks jiggle and sway.
「B-But you see…」
The manager of this hospital, Eris.
Soon after I came to this world, I was looking for a job. I ran into her by chance on the street, and I was charmed by those giant tits that were crammed into her monastic habit and looked ready to burst free. With a teensy bit of stalking I followed her to this hospital. And that’s how I started working here.
However, to be honest, the environment isn’t great. First of all, maybe because of its location far from the labyrinth at the center of town, there aren’t many customers. Since customers don’t come, the place’s treatment fee is set impossibly low to attract customers from elsewhere. Of course, thanks to that management style the hospital has no money, and accordingly, my salary is low too. Although I’m a live-in worker, so I don’t really care that much either way about the salary.
If I give discounts at a hospital managed like this, what will Eris say? No, actually she scolds me, and even tells me the next time I do it I’m fired. And that’s happened countless times already.

But man, the only type of adventurers that would go out of their way to a hospital so far from the labyrinth are money-grubbers and sly old dogs.
「Looook, it’s fine if you wanna touch ’em just a liiittle…? 」
Faced with the negotiation skills of exceptional women, I resist in vain, and I get forced into giving them discounts every time. It’s all god’s fault for bearing forth such sinful fruits. Ah, since I was revered like a god by parts of Japan as the founder of a new religion, you could argue that it’s my fault too though.
「I gueesssss there’s no helping it. Alright, 200 Zeni for the Heal portion!」
「Waaah, thank you! Well then, just a little, ‘kay?」
The redheaded girl sticks out her chest, pushing out those big twin peaks. When I stare intently at her face, her cheeks blush slightly and she quickly turns her head to the side.
This. This is it. That devilish behavior that makes men dance on the palm of her hand. Her soft, seductive voice. This girl is like this every time. I just need to see this kind of thing once and the price discount is already a done deal. It’s not that I’m weak-willed; this girl’s ability is incredible.
Then, when I reach out my hand to the girl’s chest–

「What are you doing?」

An absolute-zero voice.

It reverberates throughout the treatment room.

「Wh-, ah, I’m on my way out. Thank you very much for the treatmeeeent!」
Ahhh. Boyish-chan dashed off. That’s an adventurer for you. What a magnificent body. I didn’t even get to rub it yet. Wait, she didn’t pay the fee either! Pay up.
The reason she ran away goes without saying.
At the entrance to the treatment room, striking a daunting pose, there’s a woman with waist-length blonde hair, Eris. 18 years old, she’s a girl with a bit of a harsh personality who runs this hospital by herself. Her arms are crossed, pushing up some plump, voluptuous breasts that completely overshadow the earlier Boyish-chan’s, and the glare she’s pointing at me is sharp enough to stab me to death.

「Ah…hahahaha.」
Secret to success #1: When you’re in trouble, go with laughter.
「I told you, didn’t I? I told you not to reduce the treatment fee. Over, and over, and over, and over.」
No effect.
「L-Look, that was, y’know, that. Ah, her chest! It seems her chest was injured, so I had to treat it, didn’t I? Okay?」
Secret to success #2: I had a valid reason for it.
「And why would physical contact be necessary, just to cast healing magic? Besides, I was watching from the start.」
No effect.
「P-P-Please find it in your heart to forgive meeeeee!!」
Secret to success #3: Prostration.
An enthusiastic, perfect-form dogeza. Put your head against the floor, and just earnestly beg for forgiveness. With this display of wretchedness, surely even the furious Eris can’t help but to forgive me.
「…Even though I hired you when you told me wanted to work here no matter what, you never listen no matter how many times I say it. Any opportunity you get, whether it’s me or the customers, it’s just sexual harassment, sexual harassment, sexual harassment. And despite that you eat enough for two people. I’ve been putting up with it until now only because your healing magic skill was so incredible, but. I. have. had. enough. You are fired. Never show your face here again.」
Yep, it was useless. Three outs. I’ve made her mad plenty of times before, but never this angry. At least she’s never said anything about showing my face and all before.
「S-Sorry, look, I won’t do it anymore. If you get so angry it’ll spoil your pretty face, yeah?」
「Tch!!」
Ah, this is bad.
Eris-san is truly angry. Instantly clicking her tongue, looking at me like rotten waste, I can feel her true disgust pointed at me. Her bluntness is scary. Considerably scary. The only time I’ve ever seen her this scary before was yesterday when I inevitably ended up seeing her swimming nude and on top of that my foot inevitably slipped and I inevitably fell over onto her and inevitably ended up rubbing her breasts a little. Okay yeah, that was going overboard.
I seriously just got fired 5 seconds ago.
My next words will surely decide my fate from now on. Get moving, brain. Think. Find the words that will bring me back from the dead.
With all my brainpower, I search for the loving phrase that will make Eris go “So dreamy, take me!” as her cheeks blush out of delight and shyness.
「Here’s your luggage. I’ve already packed it.」
Time’s up.
Eris tosses a large jute bag my way. When I look inside, there are a few men’s habits and a single bank card. Yep, these are my things. She’s quite thoroughly prepared.
「Um, Eris-san?」
「Just like I told you. You’re fired. Get out.」
–And that’s how I was thrown out of Eris’ hospital on the spot, and became homeless and jobless in another world.