Pervy Healer – Chapter 20

Translator(s): Yomigaeru    Editor(s): Yuzuha    Proofreader(s): Yomigaeru    TLC(s): Flowingcloud

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Moneymaking.

 

…Thinking back on it, Eris had always been nice to me.

–For example, the time when she hired me.

「…There’s no helping it. That Heal was incredible… Well, I’ll be counting on you from now on.」

When I shamelessly pleaded on my hands and knees, half out of desperation for a job and half with an ulterior motive, Eris gave in and accepted me with a kind smile despite her concerns.

–For example, the first time I sexually harassed her.

「T-That wasn’t on purpose, right? …Honestly, be more careful, ok?」

The first time I “accidentally” brushed Eris’ ass and she laughingly forgave me. Eris was nice then, too. That novice reaction tinged with a little shyness excited me.

–For example, the Nth time I sexually harassed her.

「…There won’t be a next time.」

Her voice was cold. But still, Eris didn’t kick me out. She understood my character, and she may have sent me a death glare, but when I prostrated myself and sang her praises she eventually forgave me in the end.

Then the day before I was thrown out–

On the other side of the door that was slightly ajar as if to tempt me. The room with a tiled floor that only contained a tub and a drain certainly used to be a bathroom. But the magic item for generating hot water had already been sold due to the debt, and the tub that wasn’t designed to be heated by firewood could no longer be called a proper bath.

The splashing of water was faintly audible, coming from that place that was only good for swimming.

In my wild delusions, it was a foregone conclusion that as a man I would impulsively peep into that room.

–On the other side of that door swam the body of Eris. Indeed, it was the Garden of Eden.

You could say it was inevitable that I would throw caution to the wind, and “accidentally” burst in and stumble onto her chest.

「Just how badly, HOW BADLY do you want me to kick you out…?」

Eris had veins popping out of her forehead and was looking at me with a level of rage that was unbecoming of a girl.

She only kicked me out after I had saved up enough money to get back on my feet. That probably wasn’t a coincidence, either.

「Master…」

As I was thinking, Yuel gazed up at me as if she had something to tell me. I already know what she’s thinking. They’ve only been working together as waitresses for a short time, but Yuel has become extremely fond of Eris.

「Shall we go buy back Eris’ hospital for her?」

「…! Yes, Master!」

After spending some time in thought, I had come up with a few methods.

The first thing I have to do is get Yuel to work at the tavern. In order to allow me to move on my own.

「Yuel, we’re going to need some more money in order to buy Eris’ hospital. I’d like you to go to work for a bit at that tavern that’s always short-handed. I’ll come pick you up in the evening.」

Well then, let’s get this over quickly.

 

「You’re not getting away! Follow him! Pulling that shit on our turf, you’re gonna wish you were dead!!」

「Had my doubts about that confidence, but he really fuckin’ tried it! Like hell he’s getting away!」

「Shit, how can he run so fast!? You guys, over there! Cut him off!」

So, as a result of trying to get it over with– I’m currently being chased.

In order to make money quickly, I went to… a gambling house, operated by some rather unsavory gentlemen.

In this country where gambling has been outlawed, it’s a fairly underground business. In a gaming room on the 2nd floor of a bar on the outskirts of town, a number of people hide their faces and identities and amuse themselves by gambling… or so I’ve heard.

There, they’ve set up a gambling ring with something similar to playing cards. A simple game where whether you win or lose depends on whether the drawn card is higher or lower than the one on the table. It’s a betting game where the rate of return ultimately lands in favor of the bookie. However… that’s right, I had a handy ability known as Appraisal.

 

And then– naturally, I was caught by a magical tool that detects analysis skills.

 

It would appear that they have perfect countermeasures against swindlers.

「Hahhh… haaahhh…」

I can’t rest my legs. I have to keep running.

It was the moment where I had to pick higher or lower after placing my bet. The minute that I activated Appraisal in order to ascertain the value of the top card on the deck, a shrill alarm rang out through the building. The dealer, who was using some kind of magic tool, turned to face me. Since I was clearly guilty, I braced myself and leapt through the second-story window.

Somehow I was able to escape from the premises. But I’m still being chased by some scary men. What’s more, they’re about to surround me.

Repeatedly casting Heal on my legs, I can maintain a constant sprint, but I still can’t seem to shake them. I guess thugs who run an illegal gambling ring get a good workout. It’s not just that I’m not in shape, my legs are fine thanks to Heal, but I’m running out of- out of breath. Healing magic won’t help with a lack of oxygen.

「There he is! Over there!!」

A bunch of ruffians come running from up ahead. They’re still chasing me from behind too.

Not good, so not good. I-I only consider it for a second, but there’s no way they would forgive me like Eris. If I get caught, only corporal punishment awaits. I could try shaking them off by running down an alley, but there are so many of them. They’d catch up with me soon enough.

「Get him! Geeeet hiiiim!!」

I enter a side street to evade them. Isn’t there something, anything I can do? I search my item box as I run.

There’s a hard metal sensation– it’s my mace. …No good, I have no chance of winning in a fight, and no desire to fight in the first place.

A hooded cloth– my bloodstained habit. …I forgot to throw that out.

And then– a squishy sensation.

That’s it! I turn the next corner and scatter the item I just grabbed along the narrow alleyway.

–Yes, it’s Slime Jelly.

It’s the Slime Jelly I’ve been saving up instead of selling. I fill up the narrow alleyway with a large quantity of it. A short distance later, I hear screaming and shouting behind me. No doubt they slipped and fell when they tried to run over it.

I’m so glad I have you, Slime Jelly.

 

Dropping Slime Jelly after Slime Jelly as I run through the streets, I finally manage to shake them. I had to run for an extremely long time, but I got away.

…However, this was a failure.

I was trying to make money, but the 500 Zeni from the bet was a total loss, and my Slime Jelly stockpile has drastically diminished. I should have thought about it some more, but why did I even try something like this? I was so impatient that I lost sight of myself.

I have time. I can still think of ways to make money. Next time, next time for sure.

 

This time, I’ll head to the slave market. It’s something I came up with when I saw Yuel.

That’s right, I can make a huge profit by buying injured slaves, healing them, and reselling them.

I still had some resistance to the idea of trading slaves for the sake of making money, so I was putting it off, but then again I can choose which slaves to buy. Picking a suitable older guy wouldn’t particularly hurt my conscience. An older guy would probably be grateful just to have his injuries healed.

And then, heading to the slave market–

「We don’t normally stock damaged goods, so…」

「Injured slaves? I ain’t got any. Got a healer who treats ’em for me on the cheap.」

You can use EX Heal? Gimme a break. Ain’t no way a shabby guy like you is a high-ranking priest.」

–A complete disappointment. Nobody with those qualifications would ever be caught in a slave market asking around for severely injured slaves.

Apparently Yuel was an extremely rare case. The slave trade wouldn’t be interested in buying people with low resale value in the first place. Probably because of the maintenance costs involved in keeping slaves.

This was a fool’s errand.

Going to the gambling den, running my legs off, then coming to the slave market for no harvest. I ended up wasting a lot of time. It’s almost evening. It’ll be time to pick up Yuel soon.

After today, there will only be 6 days left until the auction for Eris’ hospital.

 

「Master!」

When I enter the tavern, Yuel comes running over to me. She looks adorable as a waitress.

「Master, I got a lot of money today too! …Umm, for buying Eris’ hospital? I want to make Eris happy too. So…」

Making such a pure remark, Yuel pulls out her bank card filled with thousands of Zeni. I would feel seriously guilty taking the money that Yuel worked hard to earn here, for such an admirable cause, after I just lost my betting money trying to fleece some gamblers.

「P-Please hold onto that for now, Yuel.」

I want to answer those feelings. But the two methods I thought up today ended up in failure.

What should we do tomorrow? Enter the labyrinth and search for treasure chests? I heard that many of them contain high-priced magic items. The most extreme get-rich-quick schemes are probably in the labyrinth.

…Yeah, but I haven’t come across a single treasure chest yet in all the time I’ve spent in the labyrinth. I feel like it would be impossible to find one within a single week. But in that case, what should we…

「Yo, Shiki, got a minute?」

A voice breaks my train of thought. It’s Geyser. Eight’s there by his side, too. I notice a trickle of blood running from Geyser’s hand. He’s here for medical treatment, huh?

「What’s the matter, Geyser? Need healing? One Heal is 400 Zeni y’know?」

「Nah, it’s just a scratch, I’m fine. On my way here there was Slime Jelly all over the streets for some reason and I slipped and fell.」

…I-I’m so sorry.

「H-Hey, it was just a joke. I can’t possibly accept money from you guys, right? Heal.」

I’ll definitely collect on it later.

「Oh, seriously? Thanks man. That’s not why we’re here, though. We came to collect on the loan for taking you back to the surface.」

「The loan?」

Oh right, they did say something about having me join their next trip in exchange.

「You got it, Shiki. Can you come to the labyrinth with us tomorrow?」

「Sure, hunting slimes?」

「Well, sorta–」

To be honest, I want to tell them I’ll go slime hunting with them some other time. Right now I want to get rich quick. But I can’t turn them down at this point. I told them they could call on me at any time. And the odds may be low, but it’s possible we could find a treasure chest while we’re hunting slimes.

「–If that’s what it was, we could handle it by ourselves. We’re not talking normal slimes here.」

Eight grins as he says that. If it’s not normal slimes, that means…

「Huge Slime.」


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