Failure Alchemist – Chapter 37

Translator: Flowingcloud  Editor: Arocks141

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T/N: Warning! This chapter might be inaccurate. The author uses the term ‘バター’ (bataa) as ‘batter’ and ‘butter’ when it should only be ‘butter’. My editor and I have decided to conclude that this is a mistake from the author and have edited the text so that the chapter makes sense.


Let’s Create Danish 1

 

If you are reading from a pirate or aggregator site, please read from the translator’s site: yado-inn (dot) com I have to put the link like this or else the bots will remove it, sorry 🙁

The day after I promised to make ‘Danishes’ with Mina, I checked with Bob and Maria in the kitchen, and they said we could make them as soon as tomorrow, so we decided to start making ‘Danish’ two days after I promised at dinner.

The participants were me, Daisy, Mina, Bob, and Maria.

First, we had to stretch the batter with a rolling pin, thus we had to refrigerate the slippery stone cutting board to use as a stand. The batter for the bread dough had to be refrigerated as well.
Then, leave the bread dough mixed with butter until warmed up to room temperature.

I asked Maria to prepare a footstool and I stood on it.

Take out the chilled stand from the refrigerator. Beat the flour and use the butter cold, fresh out of the refrigerator. Beat it thin and long, fold it in thirds, then mold them into squares. …Wait, this is too hard! It’s impossible! You can’t make it thin and long in the first place!

“Bob. I can’t spread butter because it’s too hard…”

I lowered my eyebrows into a ‘ハ’ shape and quickly asked Bob for help.

“Yes, yes, this is impossible for Ojou-sama’s strength. Let me take over.”

Bob smiled as he took over and spread the batter.

…For some reason, Mina was staring hard at Bob working, but I wonder if Mina, who’s good at cooking, could do it? Nah, it’s too hard for a young girl, right?”

Bob did a good job of keeping the batter cold as he molded it.

“Well then, I’ll put this in the fridge then.”

Bob went to the refrigerator to put the butter on the whole stand.

“I’ll do it this time!”

This time I got this! I got on the platform with a snort.

Put the flour, sugar, and salt in a bowl and mix well. Then, add butter and mix well again. After, add while mixing in a little milk, water, eggs, and yeast solution, then this time, mix quickly…

I explained to Mina, who was participating for the first time, “This is the yeast solution made with alchemy and it’s what makes bread fluffy.”

When I handed her the jar, Mina looked at the frothed liquid with great interest.

Mix until there’s no powder, then roll it into a ball on the table.
Put a wet cloth on the surface to keep it from drying out, and let it ferment at room temperature for about an hour.

…The waiting portion of making bread dough takes a lot of time, doesn’t it?

When the dough is finally done fermenting, punch it down, flatten it a bit, wrap it in a damp cloth, then put it in the refrigerator to rest overnight.

…That’s long!

The next day, everyone woke up early. The sun hadn’t even risen yet.
After all, we wanted to serve Danish bread for breakfast!

First, we prepared the oven so that we could bake anytime.

“Can I try kneading the dough today?”

Mina’s white tail was swinging side to side with curiosity… Hmm! So cute!

Thus, since Mina wanted to try, I decided to leave the dough-making to her this morning.

Bob and Maria prepared breakfast while watching over us.

She rolled out the dough to the same size as the batter that Bob stretched out for me yesterday. Then, she added the butter onto the dough in a diamond shape.
Wrap the butter tightly in the dough, then stretch it to triple its length.
Fold in thirds, change the angle, and stretch it again. Repeat, and the dough is finally finished.

…Mina’s pretty good at shaping them (I’m a bit of a klutz), and she’s very good at what she does. I wonder if her cooking skill made a difference when doing such actions. Her girl-power makes me kinda jealous.

“It’s quite hard, isn’t it?”

Whether Mina was curious about this new dish(?), her tail seemed to be in a good mood. Just watching her tail swaying was enough to make me happy.

After letting the folded dough rest, cut the dough into triangles of equal length on both sides.
Roll the dough from the wide side of the triangle into a circle.

Place all the dough on an oven baking sheet and let it rest at room temperature for a while.
Don’t forget to cover with a damp cloth.

“Nevertheless, this is a strange shape. What’s the point of rolling up the dough into thin pieces?”

Mina came back to the kitchen table where everyone was resting while wiping her washed hands.

“I wonder what will happen to the precious butter we kneaded so much,” Bob muttered a little worriedly.

Hmm, I wonder if we can really make the Danish.

After chatting about this and that, it was time to put them in the oven.
Brush the surface with beaten egg, then put it in the oven!

“Wow!

The time it took to bake the batter was a blink of an eye compared to waiting time.
The dough puffed up into a soft diamond shape and the surface turned a glossy golden brown. Then, the smell of butter wafting through the air.
Mina’s tail couldn’t stop moving as she stared into the oven.

We took it out of the oven and each person sampled a halfsie2.

“Wow, it’s so crispy!” Mina’s entire face turned into a smile of deliciousness.

“But, it’s so moist inside,” I was impressed by the dough that stretched so well.

“However, the surface of the bread sticks to your hands,” Bob said.

“I think it would be better if we prepared finger bowls. Let’s request some from the head maid,” Maria said, then wiped her hands on her apron and left the kitchen.

When the family finally woke up, they were all interested in the wafting fragrance coming from the kitchen.

“Something smells so good this morning,” Father said.

“It’s a different smell from the fluffy bread,” Mother tilts her head.

“That’s right! Today, I’m going to introduce the new bread!”

Onee-sama immediately reacted to my words, “’Danish’, right!? I’ve been looking forward to it!”

As the rest of the family took their seats at the table, Mina and I also took off our aprons and sat down.
Then, the finger bowls were added to the dishes laid out on the table.

“Huh, you need a finger bowl for this bread? This is a first,” Onii-sama seemed intrigued.

Then, freshly baked ‘Danishes’ were distributed to each of us.

“According to the alchemy book, it’s technically called ‘pastry’,” I said as I introduced the new bread.

“Well then, let’s try Daisy’s latest production.”

At Father’s words, everyone’s hand reached for a pasty.

“Ohhh, it’s so crisp that it falls apart in your mouth,” Father took a bite and gave his thoughts.

“And yet, the inside of the bread is so stretchy,” Mother tore off a piece of the bread and ate it with her hands, noticing how springy it was.

“The smell of butter is filling my mouth! And, the crunchy texture is wonderful.”

Onee-sama seemed to like it quite a lot.

“It’s amazing how many layers there are. Yet, the layer on the surface sticks to my hands, so a finger bowl for us.”

Onii-sama seemed to be concerned about the multi-layered structure of the bread.

‘Danish’ seemed to be well received by the family as the outcome. Everyone ate the bread happily and deliciously.
Mina and I looked at each other and smiled.

If you are reading from a pirate or aggregator site, please read from the translator’s site: yado-inn (dot) com I have to put the link like this or else the bots will remove it, sorry 🙁


T/N: This is the end of Volume 3: “I’m not a saint. I’m an alchemist.”! Look forward to the next volume, Volume 4: “The Conspiracy Swirling Around the Royal Family and Alchemist”!

  1. Flowingcloud: If it wasn’t obvious enough, ‘Danish’ refers to Danish pastries. It’s pretty awkward to keep typing ‘Danish pastries’ every single time, thus I left it as is.
  2. Arocks141: Halfsie = half a bite

4 thoughts on “Failure Alchemist – Chapter 37”

    1. Actually, I reread the instructions and they’re a mess. The author has kind of made a mix between a recipe for a danish pastry and a croissant, that’s why I thought it was the second one despite the name. It’s clear the author doesn’t do pastries very often (they’re brushed with a beaten egg but then they’re sticky right out of the oven? they also sometimes use batter when they should use dough and the second dough Daisy makes is different from the first time?). Well, things happen xD

      1. There are plenty of things the author doesn’t know about but tries to sound as if they do. This is just one of many LOLXD.

        Almost a pity how they treat more advanced and luxury wines.

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