Pervy Healer – Chapter 27

Translator(s): Yomigaeru    Editor(s): Yuzuha    Proofreader(s): Yomigaeru

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「…Shiki, you went? Not to mention, rented it out? B-By yourself?」

I was gonna go to a brothel, but I didn’t. I was gonna rent it out, but I didn’t. I was considering using all of my 100,000 Zeni, but I only considered it. I still haven’t done it. It was only intent. I’m innocent.

「T-That’s, look, well, how do I say this…」

I glance at the back of Yuel’s head as she’s sitting on my knee, then back to Ruruka. Making eye contact. Now’s not a good time for this conversation. I can’t discuss the details in front of Yuel.

Geyser invited me to a brothel. However, I can’t let Yuel find out about that. Since Yuel’s master isn’t the kind of person who would buy women with money. I’m an honest, noble, kind master. I wouldn’t be invited to a brothel and I wouldn’t consider going. I don’t even poop.

If it wasn’t like that, Yuel wouldn’t look at me with that reverent glimmer in her eyes. Yuel’s admiration is one of my greatest pleasures right now. As it is, Eris’ attitude has been getting more severe lately. I couldn’t handle not having Yuel’s smile to heal me. I couldn’t handle being unable to bask in her reverent gaze. That’s why I can’t allow Yuel’s image of me as her ideal master to be shattered.

Ruruka nods slowly at my eye contact. Does she understand? Ruruka has good judgment. I’m sure she understands.

「I-I get it. Yeah, Shiki… you’re a man, right? You get that urge now and then. I understand, it can’t be helped.」

She doesn’t understand at all.

Ruruka blushes and repeatedly presses her fingers together as her eyes dart around the room. Our eyes suddenly meet, and she immediately looks away. This is hopeless.

「You don’t understand! You don’t understand at all!」

「N-No, I get it. I totally understand. Men get, uh, b-backed up… and it makes them want to go do that kinda stuff, I get it.」

I appreciate your understanding. But that’s not it. You’re always pushing me to rub your breasts, so why are you only reacting like that now? Suddenly you’re pure and innocent?

I guess the only upside is that she’s being careful to not use any definitive terms that Yuel would understand. Unable to follow the flow of the conversation, Yuel is tilting her head as if she’s pondering something. I’ll have to come up with a suitable pretense for her later.

All that’s left now is to clear up Ruruka’s misunderstanding…

「I’m telling you you’re wrong. Later, alright, let’s talk later!」

「N-Nah, it’s fine, you don’t have to mislead me. I don’t mind that sort of thing!」

I appreciate you not minding it. But I’m not misleading you. I never went to a brothel to begin with. I was ready to rent it out and try out some magistrate play, but I didn’t go.

Now what? I have to clear up this misunderstanding somehow. Wait, she did say she isn’t bothered by it, so maybe it’s not necessary to clear it up in the first place. Although if I leave it like this, in Ruruka’s head I’ll be a man who uses brothels. Moreover, she’ll think of me as the kind of hopeless guy who’d blow a fortune on renting out a whorehouse for a night of depravity. In reality I am such a person, but I’m not okay with having other people see me that way.

I have to set her straight after all. As I’m thinking about it–

「U-Ummm, it’s too bad about the Huge Slime, but invite me if any other tasty opportunities pop up, okay? I-I’ll come again.」

–Since Ruruka seems like she’s getting ready to leave, I try to get up from my chair. But I can’t get up right away since Yuel is riding on my knee.

「W-Wait a minute…」

I can only watch on as Ruruka makes her escape.


After Ruruka leaves, Yuel starts to ask things like “Men get backed up? What exactly gets backed up?”, so I pat her head and try to convince her to keep the flower shop talk a secret, at which point Eris gets back from shopping.

And then it’s time for dinner. The food that Eris made is laid out on the table.

「Hey Eris, doesn’t it seem like my stew has less meat in it?」

Eris sulks at me from across the table.

「Who knows, maybe you’re just imagining it?」

It seems like Eris’ attitude has become rather prickly lately. Even though she was so incredibly soft-hearted right after I bought back her hospital. I feel like her mood got worse right after that time she let out a shriek in the bathroom and I came running to see what was wrong. Apparently a spider corpse somehow showed up in the bathroom, and she suspects that I’m the culprit. The nerve of that girl! What would I do if that was a false accusation?

Well, setting aside whether or not I was falsely accused, Eris’ mood has been terrible recently. I need to lift her spirits to some degree or we’re going to end up repeating the same breakdown all over again.

That’s why–

「Eris, you truly are beautiful. And you have such nice style, surely you’re the ideal woman.」

–I’m flattering Eris. She’s bothered by my relationships with women, so for now it’s a good idea to praise her. I’m doing it entirely out of self-interest, but I’m not particularly lying about her. Flattering Eris shouldn’t make her mood any worse, at least.

「…And that’s why you peeped in the bath?」

There’s a hint of irritation in her sullen voice. …Seems like Eris really holds a grudge. She’s not going to forgive me that easily. At the very least, I don’t get the impression that telling her “because it’s you” in a sultry tone would go over well.

Besides, Yuel is right here. It’ll be troublesome if I don’t deny the rumor that I peeped on Eris in the bath.

「It’s not like I was peeping, right? When I heard you scream I thought something had happened, that’s all.」

When I say that, Eris just silently glares at me like she’s looking at a pile of trash. Even now she’s giving me a reproachful expression. She’s not buying it, huh? Maybe my daily conduct has been too reprehensible. I’d better change the subject.

「O-Oh… that’s right, the meat in this stew… it’s Fang Rabbit, right? It’s amazing that you were able to make that stringy meat so tender, Eris. It just melts in your mouth, it’s incredibly delicious.」

「That’s just chicken.」

「…Mmm, nah, be that as it may, you really are amazing to be able to make such delicious cuisine. The flavor isn’t too heavy or too light, it’s perfectly balanced. I can tell that you keep the diner in mind. I always appreciate it. I’m sure you’ll make a great wife someday.」

Eris makes a pouty face and doesn’t reply, but she doesn’t lash back or anything either. This is the right flow. If I keep up the compliments, she might just tell me “oh well, it can’t be helped”. For now, let’s try another push.

「M-Master, I helped out too!」

As I’m piling compliments on Eris, Yuel interjects.

「Yuel will make a good wife someday too.」


When I say that, Yuel’s face turns red and she lowers her head in embarrassment. Unlike Eris, her reaction is meek and lovable. It’s so cute that I unconsciously start petting her head, but then Yuel counters by nuzzling her head against my hand. Adorable. Praise is super effective with Yuel. Part of me wants to praise her more… but my priority right now is to improve Eris’ mood.

「Oh right, Eris, between the hospital job and the housework, aren’t you sore? Want me to give you a massage later?」

「That won’t be necessary.」

She replies immediately. I wonder why? I thought we had a good feeling going. What other ways do I have to improve Eris’ mood…?

「Ah, that’s right, the flowers. I bought these. Aren’t they pretty?」

When I pull out a bouquet from my item box, Eris’ eyes widen in surprise.

「Even the hallway is decorated. You sure bought a lot of them.」

As Eris exclaims in amazement, the smile that breaks out across her cheeks doesn’t escape my notice.


After dinner, Yuel and I enter the bath. Eris switches with us once we leave, but this time I don’t plant any spiders for her to find. I can’t sexually harass Eris for a while. I’ve studied the last time, when I got kicked out, in depth. Ascertaining just how far I can go with the sexual harassment means sexually harassing her to the point that it’s no longer okay.

After bathing, all that’s left is to go to bed. I’ll get my toothbrush from my item box and brush my teeth. There are proper toothbrushes in this world, and toothpaste too. Of course the quality isn’t as high compared to modern Japan, though.

I go to sit on the living room sofa like always and scrub away at my teeth, when–

「Does Master like people who are good at cooking?」

–Yuel, who has already finished brushing her teeth, asks me that. Where did that come from? Ah, it’s because I was raving over Eris’ cooking.

Which option should I go with? If I had to choose between good at cooking or bad at it, of course I’d prefer good. I have no idea how good Yuel’s culinary skills are, but sure, it’s better to have them than not. Besides, if I tell her yes, she’ll become motivated to tackle cooking. I nod and keep brushing my teeth.

「I thought so… also, um, earlier Eris said that Master… peeped at her in the bath, is that true? Does Master prefer someone with big breasts like Eris-san?」

The toothbrush snaps in my grasp.

「No, Yuel. That’s not right. I heard Eris scream, so I went to see what happened out of concern. I wasn’t peeping, I was just worried that something happened to her. Got it? I’ll say it again, I was worried about Eris, so I only went to make sure she was okay. I was absolutely not peeping. It was an act of god, an unfortunate accident. Also, and this has nothing to do with it, but you’ll get bigger too eventually so don’t worry about it.」

Yuel nods slowly, muttering “bigger…”, and starts patting her chest. Apparently that’s where her thoughts have shifted. For a moment I thought she still had concerns about my behavior, but that was probably a result of her complex about Eris’ mammoth mammaries. I shudder. I thought my lie had been exposed.

Yuel continues to dab at her chest. It’s certainly no surprise that she’d develop an inferiority complex from looking at Eris’ huge knockers every day. But I’m ending this conversation here. I have a feeling it could go in an unsavory direction if it continues.

Then, when I’m about to go back to brushing, I notice it.

「The toothbrush…」

Near the head, it’s cleanly broken into two pieces.

The toothbrush handle is made of wood. It’s weak enough that squeezing it a bit with an adult’s grip could snap it.

I fish around in my item box… but there’s no replacement. Oh yeah, I inadvertently stepped on it earlier and broke it.

While I’m figuring out what to do, I notice Yuel staring intently at her own brush in her hand. I’m not sure what she’s thinking about, but just to make sure, I’ll gently reprimand her.

「It’s not good to borrow someone else’s toothbrush, okay.」

There’s no helping it. I’m a little annoyed at having to stop halfway, but I’ll go buy another toothbrush in the morning and finish then. As I make my decision, Yuel speaks up.


Yuel is looking at me. I didn’t notice her pick it up, but she’s holding the head of my broken toothbrush in her hand. There’s already toothpaste on it. She grins at me and speaks.

「I will help.」

Holding the 2-3cm toothbrush head in her hand, she’s going to help.

I realize what she means by that. Yuel must be planning to brush my teeth using that tiny brush head. That might just work for the front teeth, but what about the molars? Is she really planning to stick that brush into my mouth with her fingers? No, even for Yuel, doing such a thing would be totally im…aginable. If it’s Yuel, she might just do it.

This can’t possibly end well. This has to stop. I have to stop her.

“Yuel, I’ll make do with just toothpaste today, so leave it at that”, is what I try to say.

But that doesn’t happen. The second I open my mouth– Yuel slips her fingers inside. Unable to close my mouth, only unintelligible noises escape my throat.

Yuel grins at me with an expression that merely says “leave it to me”, and proceeds to brush my teeth.

Let’s look at this situation objectively.


I have no toothbrush, so a young slave girl is polishing my teeth with her fingers.


Allowing this to continue is out of the question.

I need to stop her. I need to stop her, but Yuel’s fingers are already inside my mouth. If I try to speak to her to convince her to stop, I might end up biting down on Yuel’s slender fingers. I can’t possibly do that.

While I’m still worrying about what to do, Yuel gently presses the brush against my teeth and rubs her fingers along my gum line as if to massage it, scraping against the inside of my cheek. Yuel stares into my open mouth in order to concentrate as she brushes. She’s so close that our faces could easily touch if I cough. Yuel’s balmy breath hits the nape of my neck. Maybe it’s because she just took a bath, but the aroma of soap wafts up with every movement she makes.

As I thought, it’s impossible. This is impossible. As I jerk my face back, Yuel presses on my shoulder–

–and pushes me down towards the back of the sofa. I’ve fallen deep into the sofa, and Yuel is looking down on me from above, that kind of position. …Maybe the angle was bad, and it was hard to see into my mouth. That’s what I’d like to believe.

Gazing so deep as if to be swallowed up by my mouth, Yuel continues to move her fingers. Incisors, canines, molars, then behind the teeth and the gaps… I can feel her carefully and diligently taking her time to polish up my chompers.



Then, perhaps because it’s still hard to see inside my mouth, Yuel shifts her posture… to one where she’s straddling my hips. I’m sure that getting into a proper sitting position makes it easier, but why did it have to be this position? Even so, it still seems to be hard for her to see, and she keeps adjusting her position slightly as she brushes the inside of my mouth.


Brush, brush. Splash, splash. And then there’s the faint sound of Yuel’s breath.

Yuel continues brushing. She suddenly starts restlessly moving her thighs and adjusting her position frequently, but she’s only brushing my teeth.

So why is that redness spreading from her face to her ears?

No, it’s not like I don’t understand. She might be brushing my teeth, but when you think about it, it’s like I’m constantly kissing her fingers. Yuel probably noticed that while she was in the middle of brushing. That might be why she got all worked up on her own.

All of a sudden, Yuel stops moving her hand, and strokes my lips. She rubs them over and over. Her fingers creep across my lips.

I guess you’re done brushing my teeth. If you’re done I’d like you to get off me. I’m no lolicon, but if you stroke my lips as you stare so closely at me, eventually that might get like that. And right now Yuel is thoroughly aroused. If it gets like that, it’ll probably be devoured.

Abruptly, Yuel tears her gaze away from my mouth and raises it up. When our eyes meet, her body trembles.

「M-Master… Masterrr…」

Yuel is already flushed from ear to ear, and her wide eyes are watching me. Brushing my teeth must have required a lot of concentration, since she’s panting. She suddenly takes her free hand and lovingly caresses my cheek.

Yuel and I remain like that, our eyes locked. Five or six seconds pass, and Yuel’s throat makes a big gulp.


…I’m gonna be devoured.


I need to tear her off of me. But if I shove Yuel away with all my might here… she’ll probably take that as a sign of rejection. From Yuel’s perspective, she’s just devotedly taking care of her master’s oral hygiene, and I forcefully reject her? Just how hurt would she feel if I did that?

While I’m still lost and unable to act, Yuel gazes intently at my face and rubs my lips and cheeks with her hands.

Pulling Yuel off of me would hurt her. But if I don’t do something, at this rate I’ll be defiled. What do I do? What can I possibly d…!?


The door to the living room flings open.

「What are you two doing…?」

Eris, still dripping wet and drying herself with a towel after leaving the bath, is staring at us in astonishment. Her mood seems to have improved a bit. She was most likely pleased with the rose-like flower petals I left floating in the bathwater.

When Yuel sees Eris, she reluctantly runs her hand across my lips one last time as she hops off of me.

「A-All done, Master.」

Yuel says with regret, as she stashes my broken toothbrush in her item box.

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12 thoughts on “Pervy Healer – Chapter 27”

    1. If he’s lucky he’ll get Eris & she’s not partial to competition. Of course with this writer it’ll get forced anyway- but not for a long time…


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